Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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