oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
