The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
