i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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