it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
