My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
