When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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