Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
