i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
