she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
