Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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