I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I have already put on my inside pants.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
