im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
