hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
