just tell him i said nine months
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Randomize
