Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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