I wanna bring you to show and tell
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
