I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
