So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
