I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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