if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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