I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
