I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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