i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
