I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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