she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
