Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
