You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Randomize
