hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
