Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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