If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
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