he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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