Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
