Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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