Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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