I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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