I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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