so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
