im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
