This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
