The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
