As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I have demons in me.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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