actually, I'm a sock model
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
