Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
