Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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