so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
two words...techno handjob
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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