It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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