god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
