First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Randomize
