I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I want you more than these girls want KFC
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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