He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
